..Lust.Life.Love...

Lust: To have a yearning or desire; have a strong or excessive craving...

How many times in a day do we experience "lust"? Let alone a month?...
It seems we lust over EVERYTHING, or @ least I do; it doesn't necessarily mean ONLY for a man/woman 100% of the time, according the the definition I have. I lust over success, material objects, the opposite sex occasionally, money, food, friendship, happiness etc...Don't we all Lust over something? There is nothing wrong with it, which I had to learn over a period of time, but We sometimes get so "caught up" in this idea that it turns into an "obsession"; Then it can be defined as "bad". I currently was lusting over pair of shoes! I had the "desire" to get them, but the were $85! Even though I was "craving" them, $85 is a little to much for me @ this pt and I moved on. Now is that "lusting" bad? NO, because I didn't buy them, didn't keep walking by them and didn't say F it and go broke just to have them. IF I had done something like that then it becomes and "obsession", turning lust into a bad thing. My pt to this is that we can crave(lust) over things and desire the opposite sex in a positive way. So many people thinking lusting only leads to heartaches and negative consequences. I think that CAN be true but only when we PUSH it too far.

Life: A corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul.

Are you LIVING or just EXISTING? To me, there is a very distinct difference. We all EXIST for we are breathing, moving, having some kind of thoughts and actions. But even if your existing, are you LIVING in that state? Life is short! You can be alive and still not be living. Let me break down my thoughts(im random i know lol). If i were to wake up everyday and lie in bed alllll day, not doing anything, I feel Im ONLY existing. Why? Because to LIVE fully, you have to experience LIFE, meaning and outside state seperate from yourself for life has so much to offer! People, activities, emotions, experiences etc. I feel sad when people say "I have no life". I think to myself "why don't you?" We all go through things, good and bad, and if we isolate ourselves from the world and its experiences, were taking away the very core of what lets us LIVE? Does that make sense? lol it does to me in some odd way. Point blank, LIVE! Take chances, meet people, try new things, open up to others and new experiences! I think it's worth it...

Love: To have love or affection for another person; be in love.

Love...what a topic, at least for me. Why did I choose this definition&not the 100's of others they have?Because I feel this one relates to the current thought in my head *perfectly*. We get up everyday and might love to go to work, love our friends, love our families, love our outfit or belongings etc. But why are so many of us afraid to "love"? For me, it is because of a bad experience. I fell in love *once*. From day 1, we had a connection & to this day haven't found again. Why did it end up bad? Because he had been hurt by his past relationships&didn't know how to love again, like he had no heart. 4 yrs, and I was never the girlfriend..It left me heartbroken&to this day hurts. Why? Because he told me he loved me, but couldn't committ to me. Pulled back when we were close, 99% of the way to full love and he pulled back..i was *heartbroken* to say the least. What's the pt to this? I feel You NEED to love another, eventually. Yeah I was hurt, I fell and had no one to pick me up but me..But..do ya know what I learned? That love IS possible. Not everyone finds that kind of connection right away, but when you do and its genuine, it's amazing...truly..for me, it opened up another pocket in my heart which produced a feeling not possible to feel by anything else... So many men/women I know are scared to love. Either because their not ready mentally, loved b4 in the past& it hurt them, or because they do not fully know what LOVE is. If you don't know what it feels like, then why run from something that in my opinion is so fulfilling? My point is , don't rush or go looking for it, just be open to the idea, and if/when it comes, TRY it IF you feel its right...Love from family/friends is amazing, but Love with another person is another level, another category and I only wish for people to be open to experiencing it :)

Random College Courses

Okay so today is Labor Day, woot woot! BBQin' for most people, not me.
I had a horrible weekend, its safe to say! Not all of it was soo bad, but for the most part, it was more negative then positive. So today I had to pick up the slack from this weekend. Errands upon errands, studying,cleaning, getting ready 4 class tomorrow etc. Then I remembered, I had to do my online work and turn it it by 5am tomorrow, So I did...
Im taking a online religious studies class on top of 3 other classes because I needed more units and I'm a nerd so I overachieve, alot lol. I have never taken an online class because I love being in the classroom and having "personal contact" learning with my peers as well as the instructor. Anyways lets just say a "online" course was and still is "not" my thing. So the description of my course read this and i QUOTE... "This course is an introduction to the diverse expression of religion in the United States, including the Puritans, slave religion, the religious reform movements, the Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, and Muslim communities, the African American religious experience, Eastern religions in America, and contemporary syncretistic religious movements.".... Random right?
So on top of me not liking online classes, now Im in a religous studies class, something I've never dabbled in. I've done chemistry and calculus but NEVER a religious course. So this is my 3rd week doing this class online and I'm understanding it. I have my required txts and even though it took me a while to learn this online ish, I've got it. I'm also taking Political Science, My last and highest English and a Biology Lab/Lecture course. Now if that isn't a full load, I dunno what is lol.
The point to my blog today is this. YOU are your only obstacle. Their is always a answer to a problem in front of you for you are the biggest issue you will have 2 overcome. I HATE online classes, But I'am doing it and doing it well WHILE taking a full load of classes, recording, writing music, hitting gym and doing everything else in my crazy life...
YES some of us are good at school and others of us despise it, but regardless of how it makes you feel, it is building YOU and your life up from what it was. It is meant to be a challenge because growth is never achieved from doing something easy that you already know. Though I have grown up loving school, I had to adapt myself and my work ethic to push through these courses, as well as this online class. Last semester I took Philosophy, Anthropology, English and Psycology(aced them all) and still this semester is soooo much more work and stress for me. But I realized this...I'm the only one whos going to push me. If my grade is below an A, especially below a B, I've realized it's because I DIDN'T put the work in, My teacher could care less, and he should in a sense, because its MY LIFE, MY GRADES, MY FUTURE....
I always knew the deeper I go in school, the harder it will be, but I really realized today just how much IM apart of my passing or failing(sound dumb it may) but its true. You may be in a hard situation, but look ahead to what you will get out of it if you stick it through and give it your all. Life is already complicated so why not make it easier and prove to yourself that YOU control whether you rise or fall? :) Can't wait for more random thoughts to share :)

Kisses....