Relationships 101

Okay so yours truly is single. Never had a boyfriend and never really had any luck with the dating scene. But somehow in my mind, I feel like building a connection with the opposite sex is worth it at the end. I'am always great at giving the advice, looking from outside the box into it. Now Im not stating I know everything and NO I'm not a counselor but I do know a thing or two from my own experiences, seeing my peers around me and living in a household with two parents. This blog came to my mind literally 1 mintue ago. I got an idea to write about this because I saw a bulletin a friend of mine had put out. It was practically " pouring out " her thoughts, emotions etc.To me there is nothing wrong with venting but what I did see was alot of things that differ in her mind that what a man may do,say,feel etc. My point is dating isn't easy, but it is easier when you understand the basics and try to understand the opposite sex. A foundation with someone is key in order to build something greater ontop of it. Now this blog will be short but hopefully informative to those who read;though this is only a small portion of what we all should think about, I think the pts I do hit are key. here are my thoughts:

Things Women Should Know:
-Do not txt/call/email/msg a man a million times if he does not respond right away. This is the easiest way for a man to think your clingy and men like their "own space". Doing this only causes him to pull back.
-Try not to ask him a million ?s after a long day or after he has expressed his day was bad. Men tend to answer questions when is necessary, not every second of everyday and especially not when hes angry.
-Be comfortable in your own skin&don't reach for attention. If a man is feeling or thinking something he wants to share with you, he will. Asking him what he thinks of you or your outfit or what you did for him constantly will lead him to think your insecure.
-Asking a man out or surprising him is a good thing! Don't let a guy think he HAS to buy you things,take you out, call you, txt you etc.This is 2009, YOU can show him your giving it your 50% by taking the 1st step&making an effort.
-Giving a man 100% of you physically is not attractive. Yes men are visual but if you send him naked pix right when you meet him, make sexual gestures 100% of the time and have sex with him right away, its pretty much sealing ur fate of him knowing ur not that "wifey" type&he will not chase you. Sex is something any1 can get from any1. It is a emotional and mental connection that will keep a man who is ready 4 commitment there in your presence.
-Constantly trying to dominate your man&act like your always right will leave you single. A man is a man for a reason& will not take a pushy woman very far with him. If you have an opinion, COMMUNICATE&calmly voice it, giving him a chance to voice his as well. It is important that addressing an issue is done by 2, and not done by 1 on an angry fashion.
-Be flexable. Men think in the moment and aren't as detailed and structured as women at times. If he asks to reschedule or calls a hour or two late, do not curse him out lol please. Make those little changes for harping on the little issues will make them think you will nit pick at everything and freak out if a bigger issue arises.


What Men Should Know:
-Women like plans. If you made plans with her for friday&the same day your buddy asks you to come chill, don't blow her off for something you can do the next day. Blowing off a girl for your homies makes her feel like shes not important. Family or personal issues are understandable but don't cancel on a date to go play video games.
-We need communication. If your having a bad week, do not ignore us for 7 days. Simply let us know whats going on&that you need space.Many good women will understand this&stay by your side while you work it out.Most will even make a effort to help you feel better&this is good because some woman wouldn't think twice2help you in a time of need.
-Appreciated&Acknowledge the little things we do! Many good women will plan out something cute or little for you just to see you happy such as showing up at ur game 2 support u when u didnt ask her to or sending u a goodmorning txt to see how how ur feeling if you were sick. All we ask is that u acknowledge it. Don't kiss our feet but see that we think highly enough of you to do something for you that someone else might not think of or care 2 do.
-Be consistent with your words&your actions. To us they go hand in hand. Women are very analytical so if you say your gonna take her out cause you wanna spend time then you bail without notice or a call, we take it hard. It makes us feel good when you follow through with both of those things, showing us your making just as much as an effort as we are.
-Say and do what you mean! If your not ready to date or be in a relationship, don't be in one or act like you want 1. One major problem females have with males is we all have been hurt in the past & are looking for someone to be honest& real in all the do/say. So if you act like your that man @ 1st with the opposite intentions, don't waste your time or our with trying to "play" around.
-Be fully committed. If your telling a girl ur dating or ur gf you only want them& are only with them,make sure you stick to that. We are used to being played with so don't have us& 3 other girls on the side that ur dating or being sexual with. Being sexual or physical with us&other women when u say its only us is unforgettable. It is the most disrespectful thing you can do and we will not forgive or forget it.
-We like affection. If your not a kisser, make sure she knows that from the jump and hold her hand instead. Always substitute something out for something you do like&let her know. We see this as a major effort to show us were wanted and remember we like the little things to.Random kissins/gestures or comments to make us smile is so small but so big to us.

My Advice To Everyone:
-Be yourself 100% of the time! I found out in my experiences the #1 reason I'am single is men have falsely portrayed themselves to me, as women do to men. When you meet someone, be straight forward from the beginning that way you both can figure out if there is a connection worth persuing or not. It is the biggest deal to change up in the middle of dating someone. It is a waste of everyones time and nothing was gained. even if your not looking for commitment right away, make that known and still be 'you'. You might end up falling for that person and if you were fake thinking that you didn't want anything and now do, your more than likely going2be hurt & alone for the other person will see you as fake. I think everyone eventually wants someone and wants to be happy. Its best in my eyes just to be real because you never know who you fall in love with and never know when your ready to fall.. :)

..Lust.Life.Love...

Lust: To have a yearning or desire; have a strong or excessive craving...

How many times in a day do we experience "lust"? Let alone a month?...
It seems we lust over EVERYTHING, or @ least I do; it doesn't necessarily mean ONLY for a man/woman 100% of the time, according the the definition I have. I lust over success, material objects, the opposite sex occasionally, money, food, friendship, happiness etc...Don't we all Lust over something? There is nothing wrong with it, which I had to learn over a period of time, but We sometimes get so "caught up" in this idea that it turns into an "obsession"; Then it can be defined as "bad". I currently was lusting over pair of shoes! I had the "desire" to get them, but the were $85! Even though I was "craving" them, $85 is a little to much for me @ this pt and I moved on. Now is that "lusting" bad? NO, because I didn't buy them, didn't keep walking by them and didn't say F it and go broke just to have them. IF I had done something like that then it becomes and "obsession", turning lust into a bad thing. My pt to this is that we can crave(lust) over things and desire the opposite sex in a positive way. So many people thinking lusting only leads to heartaches and negative consequences. I think that CAN be true but only when we PUSH it too far.

Life: A corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul.

Are you LIVING or just EXISTING? To me, there is a very distinct difference. We all EXIST for we are breathing, moving, having some kind of thoughts and actions. But even if your existing, are you LIVING in that state? Life is short! You can be alive and still not be living. Let me break down my thoughts(im random i know lol). If i were to wake up everyday and lie in bed alllll day, not doing anything, I feel Im ONLY existing. Why? Because to LIVE fully, you have to experience LIFE, meaning and outside state seperate from yourself for life has so much to offer! People, activities, emotions, experiences etc. I feel sad when people say "I have no life". I think to myself "why don't you?" We all go through things, good and bad, and if we isolate ourselves from the world and its experiences, were taking away the very core of what lets us LIVE? Does that make sense? lol it does to me in some odd way. Point blank, LIVE! Take chances, meet people, try new things, open up to others and new experiences! I think it's worth it...

Love: To have love or affection for another person; be in love.

Love...what a topic, at least for me. Why did I choose this definition&not the 100's of others they have?Because I feel this one relates to the current thought in my head *perfectly*. We get up everyday and might love to go to work, love our friends, love our families, love our outfit or belongings etc. But why are so many of us afraid to "love"? For me, it is because of a bad experience. I fell in love *once*. From day 1, we had a connection & to this day haven't found again. Why did it end up bad? Because he had been hurt by his past relationships&didn't know how to love again, like he had no heart. 4 yrs, and I was never the girlfriend..It left me heartbroken&to this day hurts. Why? Because he told me he loved me, but couldn't committ to me. Pulled back when we were close, 99% of the way to full love and he pulled back..i was *heartbroken* to say the least. What's the pt to this? I feel You NEED to love another, eventually. Yeah I was hurt, I fell and had no one to pick me up but me..But..do ya know what I learned? That love IS possible. Not everyone finds that kind of connection right away, but when you do and its genuine, it's amazing...truly..for me, it opened up another pocket in my heart which produced a feeling not possible to feel by anything else... So many men/women I know are scared to love. Either because their not ready mentally, loved b4 in the past& it hurt them, or because they do not fully know what LOVE is. If you don't know what it feels like, then why run from something that in my opinion is so fulfilling? My point is , don't rush or go looking for it, just be open to the idea, and if/when it comes, TRY it IF you feel its right...Love from family/friends is amazing, but Love with another person is another level, another category and I only wish for people to be open to experiencing it :)

Random College Courses

Okay so today is Labor Day, woot woot! BBQin' for most people, not me.
I had a horrible weekend, its safe to say! Not all of it was soo bad, but for the most part, it was more negative then positive. So today I had to pick up the slack from this weekend. Errands upon errands, studying,cleaning, getting ready 4 class tomorrow etc. Then I remembered, I had to do my online work and turn it it by 5am tomorrow, So I did...
Im taking a online religious studies class on top of 3 other classes because I needed more units and I'm a nerd so I overachieve, alot lol. I have never taken an online class because I love being in the classroom and having "personal contact" learning with my peers as well as the instructor. Anyways lets just say a "online" course was and still is "not" my thing. So the description of my course read this and i QUOTE... "This course is an introduction to the diverse expression of religion in the United States, including the Puritans, slave religion, the religious reform movements, the Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, and Muslim communities, the African American religious experience, Eastern religions in America, and contemporary syncretistic religious movements.".... Random right?
So on top of me not liking online classes, now Im in a religous studies class, something I've never dabbled in. I've done chemistry and calculus but NEVER a religious course. So this is my 3rd week doing this class online and I'm understanding it. I have my required txts and even though it took me a while to learn this online ish, I've got it. I'm also taking Political Science, My last and highest English and a Biology Lab/Lecture course. Now if that isn't a full load, I dunno what is lol.
The point to my blog today is this. YOU are your only obstacle. Their is always a answer to a problem in front of you for you are the biggest issue you will have 2 overcome. I HATE online classes, But I'am doing it and doing it well WHILE taking a full load of classes, recording, writing music, hitting gym and doing everything else in my crazy life...
YES some of us are good at school and others of us despise it, but regardless of how it makes you feel, it is building YOU and your life up from what it was. It is meant to be a challenge because growth is never achieved from doing something easy that you already know. Though I have grown up loving school, I had to adapt myself and my work ethic to push through these courses, as well as this online class. Last semester I took Philosophy, Anthropology, English and Psycology(aced them all) and still this semester is soooo much more work and stress for me. But I realized this...I'm the only one whos going to push me. If my grade is below an A, especially below a B, I've realized it's because I DIDN'T put the work in, My teacher could care less, and he should in a sense, because its MY LIFE, MY GRADES, MY FUTURE....
I always knew the deeper I go in school, the harder it will be, but I really realized today just how much IM apart of my passing or failing(sound dumb it may) but its true. You may be in a hard situation, but look ahead to what you will get out of it if you stick it through and give it your all. Life is already complicated so why not make it easier and prove to yourself that YOU control whether you rise or fall? :) Can't wait for more random thoughts to share :)

Kisses....

Music & Me

So today is my first day on here. Im sure most of you know i have 2 myspaces and one is a music one. I also have every other site imaginable to network on. What most people don't seem to realize is that I'am 1 person with several different roles in life, one happening to be a performer/artist. It is hard enough going through my day to day routine without throwing my other side in the mix because Music IS ME. I'am a music artist when I'am in school or when im in starbux grabbing a coffee but I also am HUMAN with a personal life that I tend to keep seperate. Just because you remember me from high school but never said hi to me doesn't mean I owe you anything.

I had a recent experience where I saw 2 people who I was cordial with in high school who did have my number back then. I was in a rush and they kept calling me over so I went over ( keep in mind these people havent talked 2 me in yrs, nor have support me in my music). They kept badgering me, saying I need to give them my new # so we can talk like the past. I told them I really didn't see the pt in the nicest way I could say it. Then the 2 mens tones switched and stated "your all hollywood now or something"? Let's just saw i was annoyed, said my peace & left. First off, If i choose not to socialize with you like i did yrs and yrs ago it is because 1 you did something wrong to me, 2 you havent been in my life for yrs and only want to holler or 3 you only come around when YOU feel like it. I'm not a fake woman, nor will i cater to everyone who calls me out of my name. I'am on another level and refuse to let anyone bring me down. Don't get me wrong, I sometimes see and old friend and we reconnect but get this right please. These were people with GOOD intentions/motives. They have always been real.

I choose to only keep those who will ADD TO ME LIFE in my life. So The nasty online msgs, the labels you give me, the hate mail I get because I didnt respond to you RIGHT THAT SECOND are not appealing. I LOVE alllll of the support and msgs and comments and emails and response I get and I do my best to respond 2 everyone but please know I'am one person with many roles and responsibilities. Time is limited and my life is crazy! Music Defines Me & Will Forever Be Me. I hope you all continue to be here for me and understand my position :) kisses