Making Of Me

Okay so heres whats on my mind. Today i went to the dentist(dont ask) and i did some thinking. I go 2 this nice dental spa so they have flat screens attached to where u lay so you can listen 2 music or watch movies while they work on your teeth. So anyways, im laying there and they had a list of songs they played and for some reason, it all got me thinking about my life.

So i start thinking about what im currently doing, college full time, gym most of the week, looking for a new job, writing music(in the recording process) and slowly getting into modeling. Many may not see this as much, but with 15 units alone in college and having hw,study time, and 6 books to read as well as papers to write, that alone is hectic.

But 4 some reason, this is not enough for me. Given I'am only 19, about to complete my AA & keep attending for my BA, i think iam doing well yes. But there is so much more I want to do. Time is already scarce for me, but i want to push myself even harder.

Iam aiming to finish my solo album within a yr and keep performing solo and with my guys. I want to finish my BA, then look for my next step. Im aiming to get signed and get the next big thing in music and i will not stop until i make my mark. Im working on becoming a model and want to be in ads, commercials, videos and wont stop until i do that as well. Im going to start my own handbag line(im a purse junkie) and promote myself that way as well. I eventually want to work at a label and own my own line in it as well. I want to start my own foundation or organization so i can give back and help people. Theres soooo much more i want to do and guess what? Im hoping to achieve most of this within a yr or 2.

People need to see Iam busy, physically and mentally. My mind works in a different way then most people I know, so no i do not expect everyone to understand. Average is not good enough for me. I do not purposely ignore people, nor try to hurt them. I do not keep to myself and stay m.i.a because i hate people. no not at all. Fact is my mind is on another level and Im only trying to step higher, not lower. I usually am by myself because I can count on me. Because i have my moments where im thinking and doing 100 things at once and instead of keeping people around me 24/7 and making them upset by this, i stay by myself. No iam not trying to not be in contact with people at all, i do do my best, Im just focused and driven.Yes im 19. But my mind is more advanced for my age, has been for yrs, and im so excited and ready to push all boundaries and do me.

I felt i needed to address this because Im still developing "me". Still developing in school and music and I know iam going to do big things. I hope people understand that certain things i do are not intentional, but are done because there are many levels of me, Many alter egos. Yes im a nerd, yes i entertain by singing and performing, but i have a deep personal life as me and unlike the others where im outgoing and social, my private life i keep quiet, i hide it within myself. It has always been like that. So that is the main reason i mostly keep to myself in that sense.

Overall, i hope people see my vision, my drive, my over passion for my life. I appreciate everyone, literally everyone on my myspaces,facebook, twitter etc who support me or msg me, comment me etc. I literally take the time several times a day to go through them all and see what u guys said or wrote on my page or videos , to my statuses etc. Just see that Im only 1 person, in a life unlike every1 else because theres only 1 of me. We all have different lives and situations. Just see iam going up, and i love for people to continue to support and follow me along my journey. Iam in the "making of me" right now. Cant wait to see what happens :) kisses